Tuesday, April 12, 2011
A rubber Johnny
When I was younger, I remember scrounging around my mum and dad's bedroom for loose change, so that I could make a phone call. (yes, we had a pay phone in the house, okay. My dad had this crazy idea that we, his daughters, might one day decide to call boys, so he had it installed to prevent us). Well, on this one day I couldn't find any change in their room, so I looked under their mattress. And there, under the place where my parents sleep and make babies, was this thing made of the same material as a shower curtain that looked a lot like a condom. It was long like a dildo and apparently one of those things that you could wash and reuse. To say I freaked out, screamed like a spider just jumped on the tip of my nose, dropped the mattress and ran outta there to the bathroom to wash my hands a 100 times, even though I didn't touch it would be an understatement. I think I told my sister, but she refused to believe that such things even exist, and waved it off with a simple shake of her head and a "Yuck, big sister. How could you even think such things?" Now that I look back on it, I think to myself, "Did I really see that? Was that thing really that thick?" cuz that thing was thicker than a rubber glove, I tell ya. And I know my mum and dad must not have not felt a thing. God, my dad might as well have worn a pvc pipe around his thingy.