This New Diet

So I'm on this new diet, and it says you can eat as much greens as you like, but hell no do I wanna eat freaking grass all day like cow. Are you kidding me? I need my rice and potatoes, you know. I don't just wanna munch on grass like a cow. Because that's what cows do. Not me I tell ya. A girl like me has to eat, not once or twice or even three times a day, but multiple times throughout the day. And that's not even counting snacks! This diet shit, I tell ya. It's for the birds.