Dear Mother-in-law,

Saturday. April 23, 2011

"I'm dropping the kids off today," I said to my mother-in-law. "We're going to Fort Myers beach."

"Oh, okay," my mother-in-law said. "That's fine. What time will you be leaving?"

"Shortly. We'll probably be at your place round 9am."

"All right. Then see ya around 9."

When I dropped the kids off, I handed her their stuff in a bag and an instruction list for the baby. She took the list from my fingers and started reading:

1.) Make sure diaper not changed

2.) Make sure he doesn't kill his sister

3.) Don't let him pick his nose with more than two fingers

4.) Make sure he stays in deep end of pool

5.) Don't let him steal more than two lollipops at the same time

6.) Don't let him stick his tongue out in public; only if they're ugly

7.) Don't let him throw his food about; only if they're having a snowball fight

8.) And good luck! I wrote. We won't be back.